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I think the guy that's usually on got canned. Or quit. Or something, but he hasan't been on in over a week and its just not the same. I don't know if i'm going to be able to keep watching regularly. The guy in his place is clearly gay and him and the girl are having a grand ol time talking about Britney.. See?? Not the same. The other guy would have told her to shut up and it would have been awesome. But now it's like some girls night out bullshit.

update; he will be back eventually, don't worry
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the great pumpkin!

it's on ABC right now and it's so cute! charlie brown's little sister is awesome. and snoopy is all dressed up like the flying ace, ready to kick the red baron's ass! little linus writing letters to the great pumpkin too.

it's interesting watching this now. Unlike most modern cartoons, the dialog in charlie brown isn't dumbed down. the kids are saying shit that a kid would never say, but it totally works.

its a commercial break right now and let me use this time to say, damn. rachel ray is a fox.

ok and now i'm switcing to beauty and the geek, because those babes are fine. even though it's an episode recapping the season so far
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Tyra Banks is (fucking) ridiculous

I watch her show a lot and it never fails to amaze me. Today was especially good though. She had a professor of psychology on who has been studying gaydar. Thats right, That thing That doesnt actually exist and is made up. Apparently its a field of science now. So there were 6 guys, and the doctor and the audience had to decide based on their appearance, walks, home videos and pictures of them as children, and their interactions with each other at dinner whether they were straight gay. Amazing. So fucking amazing. Tyra kept mentioning how controversial a topic it is. And how she's really cutting edge. NOT AS A JOKE. Youre just perpetuating stereotypes. Why don't you eat some watermelon and chicken with blackface on the air to challenge racism? You're insane Tyra, but your weave is amazing.

30 Rock loves Star Wars and I love 30 Rock

I want Tina Fey to marry me. There have been countless references to Star Wars and now she's bringing Carrie Fisher on. Brilliant. And she had Carrie Fisher play a loathesome feminist hippie chick. Amazing. And THEN she did the "Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope" line but with Liz Lemon. If that's not edgy TV, I don't know what is. But I'm gonna go get drunk now and maybe I'll finish this later.

football is great

its not really the same thing, but its still tv, so i dig it. i never had any interest in the sport until this season, and now i can't wait for sundays so i can sit on the couch, wear my detroit hat and scream at the tv. but seriously, who do the bears think they are. without grossman they don't have that "mental edge" they used to.
ooh lions not doing so hot in the second half. but neither are the bears. this has got me thinking about writing something called "why i like football" or "football. and why i like it". football is the new blog
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I LOVE UGLY BETTY

best show on tv. next to heroes of course. ok so. at first this season i thought betty was gonna get with that sandwich guy (aka RICO from six feet under!!) and then i thought it might be that guy in her writing class, but now henry's back in the picture like crazy!
oh i spoke too soon.

and fuck willamena and her trying to ruin the magazine.

OH SHIT they just showed what alex looked like! before he became rebecca romaijn stamos. and forgot everything. but they just showed alex! i've wanted to know what he looked like so bad this whole time and now i finally know.

and he doesn't look as cool as i thought he would.

oh wtf now she remembers everything? bullshiiiit

AH! betty and henry making out! wtf! they are gonna be dating! seeing betty make out with dudes is weird too.

and WHAT @ next weeks preview with the return of the sandwich guy. craazy.
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blackberry test

booyah!
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30 Rock : Cookie Jars is the New Gay Sex Scandal

GOOD EPISODE. Jack hires a private investigator, Len, to dig up dirt on his past before GE does because he's up for CEO. and the P.I. is Steve Buscemi! And he plays his old oddball self again. At one point he pulls a can of soda from his jacket pocket, drinks it, and puts it back. ZANY. and when Jack throws an unfinished cigar on the ground, Len picks it up and starts smoking it. KOOKY. He discovers Jack has a huge cookie jar collection and enters contests under a fake name. Obviously a stab at the secret lives of many CEOs and political figures. SATIRICAL. Then there's some psychobabble about daddy issues. but cookies are cookies. who doesn't love a good cookie and its jar.

Liz Lemon meanwhile is fighting with Tracy's wife because now everything that Tracy does has to be approved by her. But then Liz lets Tracy go to a strip club. whoops. Tracy's wife, whose name i forget because its not "American" (is that ok to say?), goes bonkers and won't let Tracy do basically anything on the show. And makes Griz and dotcom the writers. And i bet they could write some pretty decent stuff. Farmer on Mars?!?! Genius. Liz is afraid to stand up to Gorilliqua but eventually does and gets to watch Tracy and wifey have sex. Hot.

and some stuff about Jenna being fat-.

Kind Nation Episode 5 : VIVA LA REVOLUCION

Town Showdown : Break pinatas with pictures of presidents in them and put them in chronological order. (wtf)
Town Reward : A barbeque feast with chicken and burgers and hot dogs or Dental Hygiene supplies
Exiting Pioneer : No One
Gold Star : Greg

THE WAR IS ON. Fed up with some of the council members leadership skills, the town decides to have elections for a new town council. CRAZY. these kids truly know the real issues. Like choosing mini-golf over religious books. Or pizza over a microwave. Or an awesome barbeque over dental hygiene supplies. Why in the hell did they choose that shit? I'm surprised the council didn't have a full on revolt on their hands. A big juicy cheeseburger....or a toothbrush? These are no kids i've ever grown up with. Maybe if they cut down on all the "root beer bombs" and jellybeans they wouldn't have so much to worry about. And what kid worries about that shit anyways? Biggest scam ever.

As for the elections, those were pretty hilarious. The elected had to give speeches as to why they thought they would be a better leader. No one ran against Laurel becuase she has herpes. Some kid named Guylan runs against Mike and has a decent speech. I wouldn't have voted for him because he ties his bandana in the most retarded way out of all the kids. Weird looking Olivia ran against Anjay and her speech sucked. And Zach, old jewish Zach, ran against Taylor. His speech was moving. I'm ready for him to run for president. This is gonna look so good on his 6th grade transcripts. In the end, Taylor got booted in a close one vote loss to Zach. Jew run media. Anjay retained his seat, because it would've been racist other wise and Olivia is weird. But the best was dumbass Mike. HE WAS HIS ONLY VOTE. The rest of the town voted for Guylan. So good. What a blow to this kid's ego. It's like the ultimate picked last for sports in school. Well Mike, get used to it. Life is a popularity contest and kid, you don't have the goods.

But the real shit is gonna go down on next weeks episode. Taylor is acting like a bitch again, even though she has no power. And Zach is totally gonna withhold the slackers' money. Good for you. Perpetuate the stereotype Shylock.

Curb Your Enthusiasm : Cheryl is such a BITCH

Cheryl must've graduated top of her class at Whiny Ass Demanding Bitch U. Larry can never do anything right. He's being her bedside maid, bring her juice and water and all that, and she won't even let him cop a feel? Is this a sick joke? And then when Larry has a prior appointment driving that crazy Black woman around, she freaks out on him cause he won't make her toast. Again, a joke? She has a fever, a shark didnt bite her legs off. Her feet aren't infected with a flesh eating bacteria. She's got a fever. She's uncomfortable at worst, just complaining at best. She has to stand up (which she has to do to go to the bathroom), walk in a different direction, and push a button. Suck it up lady, you still had time to put makeup on, you have time to make some organic hippie bullshit toast too.

And the dog that got stepped on was really ugly. It looked like this. Larry's dad thought it was a rat and an exterminator stepped on it. Anyone of us would've done the same. At least the deaf owner didn't have to hear the whimpering and squish of its dumb head.

i love jews.

30 Rock : The Return of Gob

Will Arnett made his return to 30 Rock this week as the gay and detestable Devon Banks. But not detestable because he's gay. Homophobe. He's back to try to nudge in with Don Geiss on a rumor he's retiring, trying to sneak past Jack. Are you kidding me? Jack is one sly, conniving motherfucker. After all the schemes and trickery he's pulled throughout the whole series, he's gonna let some red meat and wine get the best of him? I think not. I love you and all Gob, but you're barking up the wrong tree on this one. Stick to making yachts explode and leave the CEOing up to Jack. I kinda have a male crush on him and his power and straightforwardness. But im not gay. That's detestable.

You know who else isn't gay? Kenneth. Even though Tracy's wife is kinda manly looking, he was still willing to bone her to save Tracy's marriage. But then he vomited in her foyer. That's what real friends are for. Him puking in her house prompted her to call Tracy up to get him and now they are gonna live happily ever after.

And i don't even remember what was happening with Liz. probably something to do with fat Jenna. But i gotta go put clothes on, its cold down here.

Tracy Morgan on Conan

WHOOOOOOA. THAT'S BIG MONEY.

he's definitely on drugs and Tracy Morgan is the professional version of Tracy Jordan.

he always like to eat food and play checkers.

link coming as NBC posts it.

im all on this.

Kid Nation Episode 4 : Hole in One or Holy Books

Town Showdown : Each team has to construct a steeple puzzle and raise it
Town Reward : Mini golf course or Religious Books
Exiting Pioneer : Cody
Gold Star : Morgan

I say this a lot, but this show is seriously FUCKED. Every week they read the "Pioneer's Journal" that lets the kid council know what went wrong with the original Bonanza City, which inevitably becomes the theme for this week's episode. This week's brilliant insight was to somehow include religion into the town. Why the hell would CBS make 8-15 year old kids argue about religion? Are they trying to get sued? Don't adults get into enough arguments about religion? We really need to bring uninformed, brainwashed kids into the mix? This show makes me scratch my head and furrow my brow more than any class I've ever had or any book I've ever read. Fine whatever, kids are dumb and i can appreciate watching them argue about shit their parents know nothing about. But after their showdown they had the option of choosing mini golf or a bunch of different books from different religions. AND THEY TOOK THE BOOKS. What breed of human children are these? When i was a kid i used to have to BEG to go minigolfing. and they had the option of having 18 holes of minigolf in the middle of their boring ass town. There was a kid doing flatland skateboard tricks with a piece of driftwood on a porch. Yeah, they would surely rather read. About spirituality. And not teddy bears or porn. Well at least they have their growing "sugar addictions" to keep them preoccupied.

These kids alcoholics. After Cody left, Campbell immediately went to the town saloon and started doing shots of root beer to relieve the pain. The first time I drank to relieve pain is in college when i accidentally skipped my chem exam, and I almost failed the class. This kid as 12 years on me, and he's in for a world of pain. He bought a bottle of "root beer" and poured it into a shot glass and downed it. There is definitely, without a doubt, undeniably real alcohol in there. All the kids wake up groggy the next morning and can't go to work. Sugar has never ever done anything like that to me or anyone I know. Even when a few friends and I split a bag of 7-UP syrup. Again, 12 years down the road and they will be like the guy that asks me for spare change about 4 times a day. CBS RUINS KIDS LIVES.

and taylors a bitch. I love that I just called a 10 year old who I have never met before a bitch, but she totally deserves it. If I have to hear her say "If y'all don't like our food, y'all can just starve yerselves then" one more god damn time, I'm gonna go Freddy Krueger and crawl into the TV and eat her dreams. He can do that right? For a good laugh and a puzzled "Really?" look, listen to her song here! Just scroll down into her "talents" (and the double quotes are totally necessary), press play and enjoy!

30 Rock season 2 premieres with a chubby Seinfeld

So I know it's about a week late and all, but let's get a few things rolling. 30 Rock premiered with it's anticipated (by me) second season this past Thursday. And if you weren't watching NBC for the past month and cannot see the picture above, there was a special guest star on the show, Jerry Seinfeld. There was some Seinfeldian banter, some making fun of his voice, and of course some of his trademark sneers and looks. I just couldn't get over the fact that he's obviously gained a few pounds. For the guy who used to take pride in his 29 Levi's, i think he's gonna have to start scratching out some 34s. And his acting, pretty atrocious. I secretly think that they had to do this whole "Seinfeld Vision" thing because he couldn't act legitimately enough, so they had to pretend like it was digitally inserted from scrap footage. I CALL YOUR BLUFF NBC. But it was actually a pretty good episode. Liz is going crazy, Jenna got fat, Jack is still an asshole, Tracy and Kenneth are office married, and I'd still do Cerie (i had to look that one up).