Kid Nation Episode 4 : Hole in One or Holy Books

Town Showdown : Each team has to construct a steeple puzzle and raise it
Town Reward : Mini golf course or Religious Books
Exiting Pioneer : Cody
Gold Star : Morgan

I say this a lot, but this show is seriously FUCKED. Every week they read the "Pioneer's Journal" that lets the kid council know what went wrong with the original Bonanza City, which inevitably becomes the theme for this week's episode. This week's brilliant insight was to somehow include religion into the town. Why the hell would CBS make 8-15 year old kids argue about religion? Are they trying to get sued? Don't adults get into enough arguments about religion? We really need to bring uninformed, brainwashed kids into the mix? This show makes me scratch my head and furrow my brow more than any class I've ever had or any book I've ever read. Fine whatever, kids are dumb and i can appreciate watching them argue about shit their parents know nothing about. But after their showdown they had the option of choosing mini golf or a bunch of different books from different religions. AND THEY TOOK THE BOOKS. What breed of human children are these? When i was a kid i used to have to BEG to go minigolfing. and they had the option of having 18 holes of minigolf in the middle of their boring ass town. There was a kid doing flatland skateboard tricks with a piece of driftwood on a porch. Yeah, they would surely rather read. About spirituality. And not teddy bears or porn. Well at least they have their growing "sugar addictions" to keep them preoccupied.

These kids alcoholics. After Cody left, Campbell immediately went to the town saloon and started doing shots of root beer to relieve the pain. The first time I drank to relieve pain is in college when i accidentally skipped my chem exam, and I almost failed the class. This kid as 12 years on me, and he's in for a world of pain. He bought a bottle of "root beer" and poured it into a shot glass and downed it. There is definitely, without a doubt, undeniably real alcohol in there. All the kids wake up groggy the next morning and can't go to work. Sugar has never ever done anything like that to me or anyone I know. Even when a few friends and I split a bag of 7-UP syrup. Again, 12 years down the road and they will be like the guy that asks me for spare change about 4 times a day. CBS RUINS KIDS LIVES.

and taylors a bitch. I love that I just called a 10 year old who I have never met before a bitch, but she totally deserves it. If I have to hear her say "If y'all don't like our food, y'all can just starve yerselves then" one more god damn time, I'm gonna go Freddy Krueger and crawl into the TV and eat her dreams. He can do that right? For a good laugh and a puzzled "Really?" look, listen to her song here! Just scroll down into her "talents" (and the double quotes are totally necessary), press play and enjoy!